de novo
by galactic fairy 9
Summary: de novo — starting from the beginning, anew — a collection of unrelated axl oneshots; 02. love is a train — we wait for it even when it's gone.
1. list of contents

a/n: here's the summary page for the contents of this athrunxlacus series of unrelated oneshots! ohohoho!

* * *

**list of contents**

* * *

01\. born for

_she was born for him — she convinced herself of that and when she finally _freaking_ had — she had to accept the fact that maybe, just maybe, he was born for someone else_

rated k+, drama/romance, words: 1,496

* * *

02\. love is a train

_love is a train — we wait for it even when it's gone._

rated t, hurt/comfort/drama/romance, words: 4,070

* * *

_owari._


	2. born for

a/n: (062414) sorry if there were a lot of grammar/spelling mistakes. i just had to post it. i'll check on this again when i have the time. please enjoy! (062514) made some some minor corrections and edits. to ath-chan, since your an anon reviewer, i don't exactly know how i can say thanks, so here it is haha. thank you! and i thought so too, so i made this!

* * *

**born for**

_she was born for him — she convinced herself of that and when she finally _freaking_ had — she had to accept the fact that maybe, just maybe, he was born for someone else._

* * *

7.

When she was fourteen, she had been told— "We've found a good young man for you!"

And she had asked, "Really? Who might that be?"

.

.

When he was fourteen, he had been told— "We've arranged a fiancé for you."

And he had asked, "WHAT?!"

.

.

.

When she was still fourteen, she met him.

"Hello! I'm Lacus Clyne."

—and she smiled.

.

.

When he was still fourteen, he met her.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Athrun Zala."

—and he gave her flowers.

.

.

.

When they were fourteen years old, she asked— "What do you think, Athrun? Is marrying me a problem?"

.

.

and he answered— "Well…"

—"You don't want to?"

—"No! That's not what I meant!"

—"Then there is no problem, right?"

—"Uh, um…" _I want to go home…_

.

.

.

When she was fourteen years old, she thought— _he didn't seem to like the idea of us marrying._

_I was quite excited when father told me about the arranged marriage. A person whom I can call my own. A person who I'll be with till death do us part. It has always been my dream to have someone by my side to love and to hold. I really find myself fancying him. I don't know if this arrangement will turn out for the better but I still don't know him that well._

and he thought— _she didn't seem to mind the idea of us marrying._

_And is she really like that? She seemed like a happy-go-lucky person. Why did father have to arrange this marriage anyway?! We're still young! What if she finds someone she likes or if I find someone I like? What then? Ah! My head starting to hurt from all this thinking. I'll just leave it for now._

* * *

6.

"Here in PLANTs we follow a rule when it comes to marriage that is — the government will be the one to dictate who you will marry. It is not like they're controlling your freedom but it's to ensure the continuation of us coordinators. Given the concept of marriage, where you marry because you want to build a family, we've created that rule. You see, for now, we are only able to conceive a child when we are compatible with our partner. It's not like we're stopping you from having boyfriend-girlfriend relationships, you can. The rule only applies to marriage."

When she was fifteen years old, she understood.

_Athrun and I, we're compatible. Is this what one would call destiny?_

* * *

5.

"Emergency news. A tragedy has just occurred. As you can see from the live feed video, with the Earth Forces' declaration of war, Junius Seven was hit with a nuclear bomb. With the nature of the attack being a surprise, no evacuation was announced and so there are no survivors."

When he was fifteen, he decided.

_I'll avenge my mother. I'll join ZAFT. I'll destroy those damned Earth Forces._

* * *

4.

She held his hand during the memorial service for those who died in Junius Seven.

This. This is what she was meant for. What she was meant to do. To be with him, give him comfort. Love him in sickness or in health, in poorness or in richness. This is why they were destined together.

He isn't crying.

"What you can't do or don't want to do, I will for you. What you cannot reach, I will for you. At the same time, what I can't do or don't want to do, you can for me. What I cannot reach, you can for me. We're two parts of one whole. Don't worry. I'm here. If you can't, or you don't want to, I'll just cry enough for the two of us. We're destined for each other, after all."

"You know I don't believe in that."

"It's okay. I'll believe enough for the two of us."

* * *

3.

_He turned away when I tried to comfort him…_

"Lately, you're always wearing that bitter expression."

"You can't expect me to fight a war with a smile across my face."

_What am I, in all my capacity, able to do for Athrun?_

* * *

2.

"The war is finally over."

"It is."

.

.

"Do you love her?"

"I do."

"Will you stay with her?"

"Yeah."

_Ah. That leaves me no choice, now, doesn't it?_

"Are you staying with him?"

_I love you. At least tell him that!_

"I… will."

"Do… do you love him?"

_I love you. Tell him!_

"I…"

_I love you. You have to tell him!_

"I love…"

_I love you. At least just this once tell him._

"I love him."

"Ah. That's good. Then I guess this is goodbye, for now, Lacus."

"Ah, goodbye… Athrun."

_When you've already let me go, the least I could do for you is to let you go, right?_

* * *

1.

"You broke up?!"

"Yeah."

"Why?! I asked her and she told me she loved you!"

"We… she told me… we can't have children."

"_I can't have children with you."_

"_It doesn't matter. We can always have each other."_

"_I have no chance anymore, but you, you do. I don't want you to regret anything, Kira. So at the very least, please meet with the one you're compatible with. See if the both of you can work it out. The children are our future. They are our legacy. They are a gift. So please, don't just take away the potential of what could be your child. Do that for me, please?"_

"_You won't change your mind, will you?"_

"_Yes."_

Athrun's eyes widened as Kira's recounting finished.

"Kira, forgive me! I—I have to go and talk to Cagalli."

.

.

.

"Do you have to?"

Athrun bowed to her in earnest.

"I'm really sorry Cagalli. Please understand. This was a responsibility I was placed with ever since I was conceived in this world. I at least want to know what it is that she wants."

"And if she doesn't want you as any part of her future?"

"I don't know. All I know is that if she does, I want her to know that I'm here. I'll go now."

"Athrun!"

He looks back at her.

"If—if she doesn't, I'll always be here."

"Ah."

_._

_._

_._

She had opened the door only to find the guest to be Athrun.

"Athrun! What a pleasant surprise! What do I owe this visit to?"

.

.

He immediately pulled her into an embrace.

"Lacus!"

"Y-Yes!"

.

.

He loosened his embrace and looked her in the eyes.

"I need to know. What is it that you want for your future?"

"It seems that you've already met Kira."

"Answer my question Lacus!"

.

.

She smiled at him.

"Athrun. You've already made your choice and so have I. There's no need to change anything."

.

.

"But I need to know. If I hadn't made my decision first, what, what would you have wanted?"

"Well, if you're asking like that…I had wanted a future with you by my side Athrun…"

.

.

"…But it's too late now."

"We can still work this out!"

.

.

"Athrun. A path not chosen is the same as a path that doesn't exist."

"And yet, here we are with the possibility of going through that path!"

.

.

"I refuse to be some kind of burden to you!"

"But you aren't!"

.

.

"…"

"Why else would we have been born with these genes that are a match? From the moment we were born, this was already something we were meant to do. _I_ was born for _you_ and _you_ for _me_."

"You don't even believe in destiny!"

"If you stop believing then I'll just have to believe in it for the both of us!"

.

.

"..."

"Just tell me. Tell me what it is that you want right now. If you want to have a future together, to have children, I'll stay, I'll be with you Lacus!"

"…"

_They had only just met._

"_If Athrun's hair color is blue, would our children have purple hair?"_

_He choked on his tea in surprise._

_._

_._

"_When will we get married?"_

"_Hmm…" Wait, hold on a minute!_

"_Athrun and I are just fourteen years old, isn't this a little early?"_

"_Uh… No… Before this…"_

"_Yes?"_

"Just say it."

"What I want… is… for us… to be—"

* * *

0.

A baby's first cry as it is born into this world might not be the most appreciated of things, but I, I will never forget it. We never will.

.

.

.

He said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a suitable partner for him."

So He formed out of the ground various wild animals and various birds of the air…

— _but none proved to be the suitable partner of man._

He then built up into a woman the rib that he had taken from the man.

The man said, "This one at last, is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh."

.

.

.

* * *

_owari._


	3. love is a train

a/n: (070314) oh oh oh! since an anon reviewer told me, i forgot to warn you people that they're ooc here and this is also an au! athruns a daebak jerk here! it was intentional though, so i can't exactly say i'm sorry. oops, my bad.

* * *

**love is a train**

_love is a train — we wait for it even when it's gone._

* * *

The lights were turned off, when he returned to their apartment early in the morning.

It was still dark outside.

He quietly traversed the familiar path from the apartment door to their bedroom.

He opened the door and didn't bother to turn on the light, Lacus was probably asleep, he didn't want to wake her — besides he's memorized their bedroom space enough to navigate it in pitch black.

Going to the laundry basket positioned beside the door to their bedroom's bathroom, he started removing his different articles of clothing, dumping each one of them in the basket afterwards.

It was in this process of dumping when the room was suddenly engulfed in light. Looking behind him, he was surprised.

Lacus had opened the bedside lamp, looking wide awake.

"Oh, you were awake."

"Yeah."

He returned to doing his previous task of removing his clothes and dumping them in the basket, turning his back on her.

"You surprised me. You should have spoken to me when I entered."

He proceeded towards their cabinet to get his clothes for sleeping. He was looking through the drawers when—

"Where have you been, Athrun?"

—she spoke again.

"The whole Operations Division went drinking. I couldn't say no, so I went, but it ended up going on up until this morning."

He was met with silence.

Taking that as a silence of acceptance, he wore his chosen clothes and proceeded to his side of their bed — sitting down — only to see Lacus getting out of bed, her back facing him.

"Athrun, I don't think I can pretend anymore."

"What do you mean Lacus?"

He had asked her in a serious voice — with a threatening undertone.

"This lie we call a relationship!"

"Our relationship isn't a lie, Lacus."

"I called Kira, Athrun. He told me you left early."

"And you believed him? My _bestfriend_ who's been wanting to get his hands on _you_?"

"No. That's why I called Yzak, Dearka, Nicole and even Rau Le Creuset — your boss! — only for each one of them to tell me that you did leave early!"

Silence reigned between them for a while, tension thick in the atmosphere.

"Don't you trust me?"

"I trust you, Athrun. Or at least I did. But what was I to do — what was I to think? — when everytime I wash the clothes you've worn whenever you come home late, they would smell of another woman's perfume, your collar would always have the same shade of lipstick stain and sometimes I'd even see a strand of blonde hair?!"

"Let's talk about this tomorrow, when you've calmed down and I'm not tired."

She turned her head towards his direction, surprised that he'd brush off the topic just like that — as if it wasn't important, as if _she_ wasn't important.

He could see the distinct look of betrayal on her face, but he wasn't going to argue with her when he's this tired. Instead he ignored it and buried himself under their comforter, only to hear the sound of their bedroom door slamming shut behind him.

_She'll get over it by tomorrow, anyway._

So he turns of the lamp.

.

.

.

It's not as if she didn't know.

It's not as if they hadn't discussed that topic before.

Because she _knows_ — she knows who the woman is.

Because they _have_ — they have discussed it many times before.

But she doesn't know how many times it already has been — what she does know is this has got to stop. For his sake. For hers.

How many times has she thought,

— "He'll love me, and only me, someday."

— "If I keep this up and stay by his side, he'll choose me."

— "Ah, it's okay. I'm the one he chose to be his girlfriend not her."

— "We live together, it means he chose me over her."

— "It's me he goes home to not her."

But nothing has changed — _really_ changed.

.

.

.

These are the times when she's thankful that she knows him enough.

She knows him enough to know what he's thinking, that — _She'll get over it by tomorrow, anyway._

She knows him enough to know that he's in dreamland now, feeling secure that she won't leave.

She's thankful,

— that they have separate cabinets and drawers,

— that he never bothers to open the lights when he gets home this late.

Because then,

— if they didn't,

— if he did,

he would have seen the luggage she's packed.

She doesn't want to lie anymore. Didn't she realize? _(if nothing changes, nothing changes.) _

So she leaves — leaveshim. _(promise, this time.)_

.

.

.

And she goes to _him_—

_dingdong!_

"Lacus?"

"Yzak!"

—and hugs him… and tackles him… and cries on his chest… because she knows he's the only one she can depend on and trust… because he's the best bestfriend in the world… and she doesn't know if or how she can ever repay him.

* * *

He woke up to the sound of his alarm ringing. And like any other work day, he snoozes it.

But it wasn't like any other work day, because he couldn't smell the scent of Lacus' shampoo nor feel Lacus' hair sprawled over his chest. So, it startled him, enough for him to get up.

And he thinks—

_Lacus probably didn't come back after she walked out last night._

—and goes to the living room. Only to find that she wasn't sleeping on the couch.

So he thinks—

_She probably went out._

—and worries not.

He continued onto his daily routine — taking a bath, brushing his teeth, wearing his clothes, etc. — only to feel like something was missing.

.

.

.

"Lacus! I'm home."

He calls out, fully expecting her to appear saying — _welcome home_ — and giving him a kiss, like she always does. Only, she doesn't. Not today.

_She's not back yet? Maybe she'll return later._

But doubt was little by little forming on his mind as he proceeded towards their bedroom.

He tosses his clothes into the laundry basket and puts on his home clothes, but something felt amiss ever since this morning. And he remembers to check their bathroom because it was where he started feeling like something _was_ missing.

He scans… and checks… and sees… and feels weird… _why?_

So he checks again only to realize—

one shampoo

no conditioner

one towel

one toothbrush

no female beauty products

—lots of things were missing.

So he runs out the bathroom to her cabinet, to her drawer, to her dresser only to find—

empty, empty, _empty_.

Why hadn't he noticed?

.

.

.

He called — calls her.

She didn't — doesn't answer him… until now.

.

.

So he demands—

"Lacus, where are you?"

"Why hello, Athrun. I didn't expect you to call this late. I actually thought you'd figure it out by this morning. I was probably overestimating how much you cared for me. Being away from you really makes me see just how much you actually value me or, rather, how much you don't."

—but she avoids.

.

.

But he insists fury clear in his voice—

"Lacus, I'm asking you again, _where are—_"

"Goodbye Athrun."

—but she cuts him off and ends the call.

.

.

And he calls her again, but this time, she was _unreachable_. So he throws his phone, violently, but thankfully, on the bed. _(it wasn't broken.)_

.

.

.

After making a mess of everything, and calming down in the middle of the night, it finally dawns on him.

She's gone.

— _She's gone._

— _She's gone_ _and never coming back_.

So he calls _her_—

"Oi Athrun! Do you know what time it is?"

"Cagalli… come here… be with me."

"There? You're apartment? Did you need something?"

"…I need you."

.

.

.

"You've never called for me here. Did something happ—"

He kisses her passionately and brings her to _their_ bedroom.

.

.

.

In the aftermath of their love making, he felt—

sinful

impure

_dirty_

—as if he had desecrated holy ground.

Despite thinking that being with Cagalli would solve everything, in the end, it didn't. _(nothing was.)_

Lacus was still gone.

She was still never coming back.

And he, he still felt at a loss.

As if everything he broke wasn't enough.

As if everything he threw on the floor wasn't enough.

As if the chaos he had showered upon _their_ apartment wasn't enough.

As if making love to her was meaningless.

So he wakes her up and tells her—

"Cagalli, wear your clothes. You have to leave."

—and she follows him anyway.

Standing in the doorway of the apartment door, she felt something was off.

"Hey, aren't you going to escort me to my car?"

She sees him holding on to the door, as if wanting to close it.

He looks away from her.

"Cagalli, let's never see each other again."

"Are you _dumping_ me just like that? After everything between us?"

"We were never together anyway."

"Oh, is that right? You—you jerk! Was I just a good _fuck_ to you? How dare you do this to me!"

"It's not like that, it's just—"

"And I thought, _I_ was special. No wonder _she_ dumped you."

"What? How did you—"

"This apartment doesn't look like two people were living here. Lacus, she probably left you — without you even suspecting anything, didn't she?!"

_(The ugly ugly truth.)_

"Shut up!"

He grabs her.

Realizing what he did, how he looks and what he said, he pushes her away and releases her.

He turns away from her, saying—

"You don't understand anything."

—and slams the door in her face.

Speechless, she runs to her car, starting its engine and drove away.

All the while saying, repeating, _comprehending_—

"How, how could you do this to me?! You told me! You told me you loved me!"

* * *

"Are you sure about hanging up on him and turning of your phone? Didn't you say you loved him?"

He doesn't understand what she's doing to herself when, clearly, he can see how much she wants to talk to _that_ guy.

She's hesitant to answer, afraid that whatever comes out of her mouth might sway her.

"I did. I loved him. No— I still do!"

But even if saying it — giving life to it — does sway her resolve, it was still the truth.

_If that's how you feel—_"Then talk to him. Clear this up."

But still she throws back—"I already have. We already have. Yet, everytime we do, nothing is resolved."

Either way, he will keep on insisting—"Don't you think leaving him might have finally made him think that you're serious? Maybe this time the two of you can finally work things out."

So she feels defensive—"I… —I don't know! Why are you insisting anyway?! You're my, my childhood friend — my bestfriend! You're supposed to be on my side! Your supposed to be beating him up right now and threatening him for what he did to me!"

That's why he tells her how he really feels—"Trust me. I do. I really really do. I want to rush to him and beat him up so bad, he'd end up in the hospital. But, you'd stop me anyway. Seeing him hurt more than anything, hurts you too… and Lacus, for me, more than anything, I don't like seeing you hurt because of something I did. And, I…I also know that you still want to be with him…"

She discloses her inner thoughts—

"I—if he told me to die for him, I would have. If he told me to try and wait for him, I would have. But everytime, what he's asking of me isn't any of those. What he wants from me is to lie. To lie to myself, to pretend like our relationships perfect. As if, there's love between us, but in the end isn't it just one-sided? Aren't I the only who's deceiving myself?"

"Lacus…"

—so he didn't know what else to say.

Understanding that he really just _cares_ for her—"It's alright, Yzak. Time can heal all wounds. I'm gonna be okay, so let's just enjoy our time together."

She smiles — _finally_ — but he knows that what she needs right now is proper closure. Still, he knows that he can't persuade her anymore. So, he enjoys his time with her, as if this was one of her visits, except it's extended. Although, till who-knows-when, he didn't know.

.

.

.

"Oi! Yzak! Wake up!"

"Hmmm. Five more minutes."

"Wake uuup. You're gonna be late! It's already 7:30, you still have to drive to work!"—and that get's him out of bed and into the bathroom.

.

.

"Aaah, where's my bag?!"

She hands it to him.

He proceeds out the door only to go back in.

"I forgot my car keys."

She hands it to him.

"Thanks! You're a lifesaver Lacus! Aaaah! I have to go now. I'm gonna be late! See you later then."

_Since he woke up late, I took the liberty of preparing him a bento but I wonder if he'd like the taste._

.

.

.

They were on lunch break now, so he was having lunch with Yzak, Dearka and Nicole, like always.

It's been a week.

A week of life without Lacus.

He's asked around but no one knows — or at least they pretend that they don't know — where she is.

.

.

He doesn't really know, but by the way that Kira's been ignoring him, it seems like he's heard from Cagalli about their little _(ex)_affair.

But, it doesn't really matter. He ended it anyway.

.

.

Everything _was_ like always that was until Yzak brought out his lunch. A bento with a really really familiar style.

And he knew, and realized how stupid he was for not thinking about it.

_Of course Lacus would seek refuge at her bestfriend's._

But, he now knows. Still, he pretends that he doesn't and continues eating lunch with his friends.

.

.

.

He was walking in the office hallway when he noticed Athrun leaning on the wall.

Fully intending to just walk pass him, he proceeded on his way, but Athrun blocked his path.

Coming to a stop, he looked at Athrun.

Silence reigned as they stared at each other, daring the other to back down.

"She's at your place, isn't she?"

"And what if she is? What are you gonna do about it?"

"You don't need to know. I just wanted to confirm her whereabouts."

"Give it up Athrun. She doesn't want to talk to you."

Irritation was slowly leaking into Yzak's voice.

"I know. But don't we at least deserve some closure? To talk things out?"

Not being able to control his temper, Yzak grabbed Athrun's collar.

"You bastard!"

"You don't deserve to— you don't deserve her! She already did. She talked to you about it a lot of times. But you never listened! Instead what did you do? You kept on seeing your other lover. Haven't you ever considered how hurt Lacus would be?"

Athrun looked down, his bangs covering his eyes.

"I… Do you know how cliche it is? To know how important someone is to you, only when that person is gone?!"

Suddenly, grabbing Yzak's hands on his collar, pent up rage flowed through Athrun's veins.

"I've been living this past week but honestly I don't feel like I'm alive at all. I'd rather be dead!"

"Then die you stupid person! It's your own fault that you just realized it now!"

.

.

.

They were having tea time after dinner, when Yzak spoke.

"Athrun confronted me."

Lacus froze for a millisecond, the rim of the tea cup on her lips, but she replied anyway.

"Really? Then, did you beat him up?"

She smiled, an attempt at humor.

"I didn't."

Still, Yzak replied in a serious tone.

She looked at him.

"Well, that's rather surprising of you."

Yzak looked at Lacus with a piercing gaze.

"I didn't have to. He was already beating himself up over what happened between the two of you."

"I see."

"Why don't you just see him already?"

"_Because…_ I don't think I have the courage to face him right now."

"Suit yourself."

Yzak stands up and goes to the sink planning to wash his empty tea cup.

The sound of running water enveloped the kitchen.

It was in this kind of peaceful silence, when he felt her beside him and she leaned her head on his shoulder. So, he stops washing the cup and closes the faucet.

In the new found silence she spoke.

"Am I the one in the wrong, Yzak?"

"There's no use pointing out who's at fault. But running away won't solve anything, Lacus."

* * *

The train door opened as the train came to a stop at the station.

It wasn't rush hour at this particular time. So it was a relief for Lacus, not being pushed around.

She gets on the train and proceeded towards her favorite location, only to find someone already standing in it.

But it wasn't the fact that someone was standing there that bothered her, but _who_ was standing there.

.

.

Sensing a presence in front of him, Athrun looks up, only to be surprised—"Lacus."

.

.

Her conversation with Yzak made her rethink her actions. Maybe she really did need to have a talk with Athrun.

But, thinking that and actually doing it are two different things.

She still thinks that she isn't ready for this, so she turns around and walks away, but he grabs her wrist before she could escape.

.

.

He's finally seen her. He won't just let this chance go.

"Lacus!"

"Let go, Athrun!"

"I won't!"

They were making a scene inside the train.

But, it was weird yet convenient that they were the only ones in that train car.

"Athrun, let go of me."

"Lacus, please, just talk to me."

"There's nothing to talk about."

"You know that there is."

"I don't expect anything to change this time around. So why should we?"

"Just listen to what I have to say, please."

He lets go of her wrist.

And, she realizes, that she can't escape anyway.

"Fine."

.

.

"Come back. Be with me again."

"What, so you can hurt me again?"

"I broke it off with Cagalli."

"It's too late Athrun. You should have done that the first time we talked about it."

"Give me another chance."

"I gave you a second chance, a third, a fourth, a fifth— I already can't count on my fingers how many chances I've given you!"

"Just one last chance. I'll fix everything! I just need one _last_ chance."

"Athrun…our relationship, this love between us, it's hard to say but it looks like this is the end."

Athrun grabs Lacus' shoulders in desperation.

"No, no, no— I told you Lacus, I'll fix it! I'll make it up to you."

Lacus holds on to Athrun's hands on her shoulders, gently taking them off her shoulders and holding on to them as she spoke.

"If you told me to die for you, I would have. If you told me to try and wait for you, I would have. But what you were telling me everytime we argued about _her_, it's not either of them, Athrun. What you were telling me is to lie for you. To lie to myself and believe — _to act _— as if, one day, you'd return my feelings. As if this current relationship of ours was going somewhere."

"That's not—"

"That's what you were telling me. And up to some point, I did. I believed that one day you would return my feelings. But I just got fed up. Because, albeit saying sorry, you still kept on repeating and repeating your actions."

"This time. I promise. For sure. It won't happen again. I told you I broke it off with Cagalli. _So come back to me_. I'll beg you! I'll do anything! I—I can't live without you Lacus!"

He squeezed her hands in his grasp in desperation.

So, she squeezes his in return and brings one of her palm to his cheek.

"You know what, Athrun? I was always — _always_ — waiting for the train to come at the station. Waiting for you to love me back. But it was always passing me by, this train. Now, finally — _finally_ — I get to ride it. You and I are finally at the same page. You don't know how long I've waited for this moment. But time's already up, I'm getting off. I _have_ to get off this train. So, when we arrive at the next station, Athrun, please let me go. Let the train doors get in between us."

He pulls her to him and hugs her tightly.

"I _can't_ do that. I can't just cut you off my life. I'll die if I do…"

"It's gonna be okay, Athrun. You're gonna be okay. We didn't have each other before this relationship and yet we were able to live. If anything, the one who has much more to lose is me. Because, I was the one who invested so much of myself into this relationship. I'm also hurting by doing this. I had hoped that this — what happened between us — I hoped that we could laugh about it someday, but right now, it just hurts so much that I can't really say if I can. So just think of it as a train ride. We got on at the same station, but now this is my stop. This is the end. I _have_ to get off."

"No, no, no, no— Stop!— Lacus don't say anymore— I—I'll protect and love only you. I'll lay down my life for you. I'll make this work. I promise you that. Just change your mind, please!"

"Athrun…"

"It doesn't have to be now! I can wait for you!"

"Athrun… I… I have to go…"

.

.

.

She was walking in the rain.

Streams of water — or were they tears? one can never know — were running down her face.

She felt drained.

The rain stopped falling on her head and that was when she realized that someone had put an umbrella over her head.

"Yzak…"

"When you texted me about what happened, and it started raining, I knew I'd find you like this. Geez, you never ever think about your health! Honestly, what would you do without me?"

She smiled at him so widely, but it was no use when he could see the tears streaming down her face.

"Are you sure you won't change your mind?"

.

_._

_It was her stop—_

"_I'm still going to wait for you!"_

"_Love is a train, Athrun. We wait for it even when it's gone."_

—_and the train door closed between them._

.

.

"Yeah… I'm pretty sure. Right now, nothing's going to come from us getting back together. We're both just hurt, we'd probably just be licking each other's wounds. I don't want that kind of relationship. Maybe, someday, when our wounds are all healed and a chance comes along…"

He hugs her with one arm as he holds the umbrella up with the other. And she buries her face into his chest.

"It's okay. I understand. Let's just go home for now. You know I'll always be there for you. My home's always open."

"Hn. Let's hear you say that again when you finally get a girlfriend."—It was a bit muffled but he heard her say, anyway.

"Then, should I not get a girlfriend nor get married, after all?"

She looks up at him.

"You— You're too overboard for a bestfriend! I wouldn't ask that of you, you know! Besides, I wanna see little Yzaks running around!"

She sees a dangerous gleam in his eyes.

"Then, shall we make an attempt at that? I mean you'll be cold from being drenched in the rain, when we get home. Should I warm you up?"

"You, stop teasing me! I just got back from a break up you know!"

"I know. But, they did say that the best cure for a broken heart is a new love."

"You! I can't believe you! Don't you even have any concerns? Aren't you supposed to be worried?! Don't you know that, if bestfriends enter a romantic relationship and then break up, they won't be able to go back to being bestfriends?!"

Lacus' eyes were rolling around in anxiety.

"Pfft— HAHAHA! You took me too seriously Lacus! I was just saying that to make you take your mind off things."

"Mou… You're such a bully!"

"At least you're not crying anymore. Let's go."

He takes her hand in his and leads the way home.

"Thank you."

* * *

_owari._


End file.
